


Nouvelle Cuisine

by Rachael Sabotini (wickedwords)



Series: Culinary Series [2]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Dubious Consent, F/F, F/M, Gateroom orgy, M/M, Multi, Sex Pollen, Uncomfortable Sexuality
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-06-28
Updated: 2005-06-28
Packaged: 2018-04-23 21:39:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4893256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wickedwords/pseuds/Rachael%20Sabotini
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The peppers return.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nouvelle Cuisine

**Author's Note:**

> Many thanks to chelle, zoe rayne, and sherrold for both inspiration and beta work.

The coastline dropped away behind them as John headed the jumper back to Atlantis, zipping over the water as low and as fast as he could. He grinned up at Rodney, who stood pressed up against the back of the pilot's chair, watching hungrily as they zoomed over the water and through the sky. Rodney hadn't been this close to him in weeks, keeping his distance after the taste test incident, and John was glad that Rodney seemed to be getting over it. At least he wasn't freaking out anymore, which John hoped was a good sign.

In his fantasies, John was able to talk Rodney around to trying it again, only without mood-altering substances involved. But fantasies were a lot different from reality, and as long as Rodney didn't start shaking or finding new places to be when John entered the room, he'd take it as a good sign. 

John asked the jumper for just a bit more, and the jumper, trying to please him, put out a small extra burst. 

"Cool," Rodney said, and John smiled. Rodney loved the speed almost as much as John did, and giving Rodney that thrill was sometimes better than the speed itself. It was weird. There was a part of him that really liked making Rodney happy, liked seeing him smile and laugh and roll his eyes in a big show of sarcastic delight. And it was ridiculously easy to do, even though it didn't seem to last, and John wanted it to last. He spent a lot of time imagining ways that he could make Rodney happy, fantasies that would give them both something to write home about: 

Dear letters, I never thought I'd be writing to you like this. I'm the military attache to a secret government installation in the Pegasus galaxy, and last Saturday, the weirdest thing happened— 

"Oh, wow." Just off to his right, Rodney's voice set a deep resonance running through John's spine. "I never remember how beautiful she looks, until we're almost here." 

John could feel Rodney's hand on his shoulder and knew the kind of wondering expression that had to be on his face, and imagined other things he could do that would put a similar expression there. John shifted slightly in his chair to make himself more comfortable, and deliberately not-sighed. 

If he focused on it, he could still feel Rodney's dick in his hands, thick and hot and just exactly right — 

John hastily bit the inside of his lip. He couldn't pilot if he was thinking about sex; he knew that from past experience. He needed some space if he was going to be able to concentrate. "You'll need to buckle up before we land," he said, hoping Rodney would go with the suggestion. 

He still felt bereft when Rodney did just that. 

* * *

Gentle air currents brushed against her skin, teasing Elizabeth with the hint of cool relief. Her office was sweltering tonight, and Elizabeth wondered if there was any way to cool it down. She could feel the sweat gathering at the nape of her neck and under her breasts, not quite enough to spill down her stomach or back, but enough to make her clothing stick. 

Her bra was the worst. The cloth chafed where the sweat caught it, a constant irritation. Elizabeth glanced around, making sure no one in the control room was looking at her, then slipped her hand under her shirt and undid the hooks, bringing blessed relief. 

Sliding her shoulder straps down her arms, she retained her shirt, a talent picked up during strip poker with the debate club. The offending garment was immediately folded and stuffed it into the drawer of her desk. 

The latest projections on food supplies showed that they were holding their own for now, once the hydroponics bays were re-seeded, but she was too hot to focus on them for long. Rodney and John were on the mainland now, exchanging new plant starts for harvested crops. Maybe when Rodney was back, he could run some diagnostics on the environmental control system; that is, if she hadn't melted by then. 

Elizabeth stood and stretched, listening to the satisfying 'pop' as everything settled into place. Tugging at the zipper at her throat she slid it down to her breasts, and then pressed the material back, opening up the area around her neck. She slid her hand up to her chin, and down again, feeling the sweat. Damn. Something had to be out of whack, and she really didn't feel like waiting for Rodney just now. 

She pressed the comm. "Dr. Zelenka, this is Weir." 

"Yes, Dr. Weir?" He sounded distracted, his voice warm, her name softer than it should have been. 

"The heat in my office seems to be on the fritz tonight. Can you come take a look at it?" 

"Hmm, yes. Many people are complaining about the heat tonight. It is worrisome, as the indicators say there are no problems. I will be there shortly." 

"Thanks. Weir out." She let the comm go, and threaded her hands through her hair again, enjoying the brief relief. Was there any way that she could take off anything else? 

Her radio crackled again. "Beckett to Dr. Weir." 

"Go ahead, Carson." 

"I don't want to alarm you, Elizabeth, but I've got several patients reporting in tonight with a slight fever and nausea. We're keeping up with them in the infirmary, but it's possible that one of the teams brought something back with them and it's spreading. I don't know if it's viral or bacterial at the moment, but I think we should be prepared." 

Elizabeth leaned against her desk. "How serious is it?" 

"So far, I haven't seen anything that can't be treated with analgesics and water. If it were deadly, Atlantis would have instituted quarantine." He took a deep breath. "I'd like to initiate a voluntary quarantine, just to be on the safe side, and ask people to stay where they are tonight unless there's an urgent need for them to be out." 

"That's a good thought." She nodded slightly. "Go ahead and announce it. I'd still like to get the senior staff together and see if they know anything though. Is that acceptable?" 

"In all probability, we've already been exposed to whatever this is, so the few of us meeting shouldn't be a huge risk." 

"Excellent. We'll convene in fifteen minutes in the main briefing room." 

"I'll be there," Carson said. 

"Oh, and Carson, you might want to wear something light. The environmental controls are out of whack, and I'm having Dr. Zelenka take a look at them." 

"I'll wear my summer uniform. Beckett out." 

Elizabeth smiled, wishing she had a summer uniform as well. 

* * *

As they cleared the last tower, John heard Rodney's stomach growl. Come to think of it, he was feeling a bit hungry as well. "So, who's cooking dinner tonight? I think we might be in time for a late dinner, if we hurry." 

"Uhm, Tino, I think," Rodney glanced at John, and then back at the view screen, watching as the jumper bay roof retracted. 

"Ah, vegetable stew night." The jumper hung for an instant over the entrance, then sank into the bay. "Makes me miss MREs." 

"I always miss MREs." Looking off in the mid-distance, Rodney smiled fondly; obviously, at least one of the MREs had been very good to him. "Actually, he's been talking all month about some flavored oils he was brewing up, using the caneila seed oil and some dried peppers and spices he dug out of stores. Remember, he's the guy who brought all of those food channel shows as his personal items." 

"Have you watched them? I swear to god, Rodney, those are better than porn." 

"I wouldn't go that far," Rodney said mildly. 

"What about the one where that blond guy with the glasses makes that chocolate stuff?" 

"Oh, good point." Rodney lifted his chin slightly and his eyes flashed with excitement, and anything that got Rodney excited, John was for. "Anyway, Tino planned on using one of the pepper oils tonight." 

"Sounds tasty." They came to a gentle rest on the bay floor, and John ran his hands over the controls one final time, before he followed Rodney out of the back of the jumper, enjoying the view. 

"Normally I like my food to be somewhat standard, which is why fast food always appealed to me. At this point, though, I'd love some variety." Rodney waved at the two Marines assigned to unload the new crop, who patently ignored him. "I would kill for a good curry right now, or maybe some pad khi-mao." 

"How many stars?" John started walking a little faster than normal toward the transporter. 

"Two, I think, unless you go to Tommy Thai's in Vancouver. Then I'd probably order one. I think he starts with at least one star's worth of peppers. 

"Or that ground meat salad, with the spicy lime sauce." John sighed blissfully 

"Not so much with the lime, please." He darted a look at John. 

k "Good point." John cocked head slightly as he thought. "Tom Kah Gai would be okay, right?" 

"Anything without lime would be fantastic." Rodney sighed dreamily, and stepped into the transporter as soon as it opened. "Some days, thinking about food beats out thinking about sex." 

John almost said "Let's grab the food, head to my room, and have sex, so you can compare the two." But his little internal regulator switched to the "bad idea" position, so instead, he just leaned against the wall of the transporter. Really, it was no fair for Rodney to keep going on about food like this, when there was no chance that he was going to have anything other than vegetable stew tonight. It was as bad as being in the jumper with Rodney earlier; he had these cravings now and there was no way that either of them would be satisfied. With a mental shake, he made himself turn his thoughts toward the duty roster for the next week, and tried not to think about either Rodney or kosher hot dogs. 

* * *

"Dr. Weir?" Dr. Zelenka stepped into Elizabeth's office just as Carson's voluntary quarantine announcement was finished. Sweat matted the hair on the back of his neck, making him look slightly more disheveled than usual. "You asked for me? About the heat." 

"Yes, Radek. Can you do something about this? I think I'm broiling" She ran her hand up the back of her neck and lifted her hair up, hoping that the air would dry some of the sweat from her skin. 

"Ah." Radek stared at her, his eyes wide behind his glasses, his gaze following the movements of her hands. "It is fine." He swallowed as she slid her fingers down to the base of her throat. "I find there are no problems in the other rooms either." He wadded the hem of his shirt between his hands, then smoothed the fabric out again. "Everywhere is hot." 

"It's all right with me if you want to take off your shirt. I won't be offended, not in this heat." She thought, but would not say, 'If I could get away with it, I would do that too.' Elizabeth nodded, moving over to him and laid her hand on his arm. "It's not your fault." 

Radek placed his hand over hers, and Elizabeth felt a frisson of excitement deep within her as Radek drew his fingers up her hand to her wrist, then down again in a gentle caress. He looked up at her, a small smile playing about his lips, and Elizabeth's felt something catch within her, her nipples hardening in response to his appreciative gaze. 

In the right light, Radek Zelenka was really hot. 

She stroked up his arm to his shoulder, enjoying the feel of muscle under the cloth. It had been a long time since she had enjoyed anyone's company. 

" Elizabeth," Radek practically breathed her name, moving in close and sliding his hand down her back to her ass. "You are a beautiful, tall woman." 

"You like tall women?" She looked at his lips, the way the beard stubble outlined them, contrasting sharply with their soft fullness. 

Radek's eyes were wide behind his glasses. "I like long legs." 

* * *

Rodney glanced around the mess hall, a little puzzled at where everyone was. It was still early enough that there should have been a few late diners lingering over desert or grabbing something before heading down to the labs. Instead, the mess was apparently deserted, though someone had to be back in the kitchen as Rodney could hear the pans rattling. Someone was being very enthusiastic about cleaning up. 

He tapped the counter, then yelled out, "Hey, we're ready to eat." 

John rolled his eyes, but no one came out. Shrugging, Rodney went ahead and dished up the rice and vegetable stew that was sitting under the heating lamp. 

The stew looked good. It was a dark red, nearly paprika-colored concoction this time, ladled over brown rice. It looked like jambalaya, and Rodney was almost positive he could see some okra in it. 

Not that he had anything against okra. The canned stuff was actually pretty good. He'd gotten used to eating it back when he worked in Area 51 where one of the cooks fancied himself a Cajun chef. 

And now, here was Tino, fancying himself a southwestern chef. Couldn't the military just stick with mass-produced buffets? Watery mashed potatoes and overcooked green beans. Now those were the food that Rodney missed. 

Still, the food smelled great and looked good, and he couldn't afford to be picky. 

"I wonder how hot these peppers are." John was holding one of the bottles of hot oil in his hand, staring at the yellow-gold liquid. "How hot do you think this is?" 

"Not very." 

"Tino was bragging that sweat would break out from just a few drops of this stuff." 

"Ah, he's an optimist. I'm sure he thinks whatever he used is hotter than it actually is." Rodney grabbed some water and a slice of mystery pie, and headed for the table. "Just bring the bottle. We can add more as we eat." 

John shrugged, leaning against the counter. Rodney watched as he put a drop of oil on his finger, looked at it intently, then drew his finger up to his mouth and carefully licked it, his tongue swirling around the glistening tip. 

Rodney closed his eyes for a moment, trying to shake the image. Was John deliberately taunting him? He opened his eyes again and set his mouth in a tight, straight line. No way was John going to get him to crack. This whole thing was a nightmare. "How is it?" 

"Not bad. It makes your fingers tingle if you touch it though, so be careful." John settled the bottle on his tray, and followed Rodney to the table. "Just add a little bit and see if you like it." 

Rodney shrugged, and drizzled about a small amount of the stuff over the food, then stirred it in. "Not bad," he said, after tasting a bite. "Got a little bite to it, but the rice keeps it under control." He dug in, enjoying the flavor for once; the okra actually tasted like okra, which was amazing. Rodney liked it when the food could be trusted; between his allergies and his need to eat every few hours whether there was something edible-looking around or not, he'd had more than his share of culinary disasters. 

Thinking about disasters made him remember the disaster of the taste test from last month, and what a nightmare it had been. Oh, yeah. Nightmares all right. Nightmares about incredibly hot sex with a straight guy while he was incredibly high. Rodney clenched his hands into fists and looked toward the window, feeling his face and arms flush, and hoped John would write it off as the peppers. He still couldn't believe what he'd done. He knew he was weak-willed, but he never expected himself to take advantage of another person like that. The only mitigating circumstances were that he hadn't deliberately drugged John; the fact that he himself had been drugged didn't get him any slack at all. He just hadn't realized how much of an opportunist he was until John — Sheppard, he reminded himself, Sheppard — until Sheppard hadn't pushed him away. 

He couldn't forget that he was the one who went to John's room. He was the one who first kissed John. He was the one who pushed John up against the wall, and stuck his hands in John's pants, stroking and pulling on John's cock, feeling it get hard under his hands... 

He was so totally and completely fucked. 

Some food caught in his throat, and Rodney coughed; John shot him an 'are you okay?' glance, which Rodney waved off. He downed about half of his water, until the scratchy feeling in his throat went away. 

The dining area felt really hot tonight; maybe that's why no one was here. Rodney could feel sweat popping up on his forehead and on the back of his neck; maybe it was the pepper oil. Rodney glanced down at his food and noticed that he'd eaten a lot. He didn't know how much of the oil he'd drizzled over it, his mind having been elsewhere. "Wow, that's a lot hotter than I thought it was." 

"Yeah. It kinda sneaks up on you, doesn't it?" John said, tearing into his food enthusiastically. "It's kind of nutty, like sesame oil, but with a hint of something else." He took another big bite, light sweat breaking out on his brow. "Vaguely chocolate-like too. Kind of a spicy, cinnamon-y chocolate." 

"Almost a mole—" Rodney stopped in the middle of his bite, and stared at his nearly empty bowl. He glanced at John, who was staring back at him. 

John swallowed hard and pushed his bowl away, rubbing his stomach. "It couldn't be the same peppers, could it? It had to have been a different one. Those peppers were dumped, right?" 

"Yes, I'm sure they — Well, maybe — Hmm. It's possible that there might have been a few left. But I'm sure he wouldn't—" 

John stared at him, not saying a word. 

Rodney slumped in his chair. "Oh god, you're right." He pressed his comm. "McKay to Weir." 

"Go ahead, Rodney." 

"Listen, uhm," he gave John a worried glance, "you might want to skip dinner tonight." 

"I've already eaten, thank you. We have a situation brewing here, so I'd like you to join us in the briefing room as soon as you can." 

"Situation? What kind of situation?" 

"We're having trouble with the environmental controls, which may or may not be related to a contagion that Carson suspects may have been released in Atlantis." 

Rodney pulled up short. "Contagion?" 

John gathered up what was left of their meals and dumped it, grabbing Rodney a nut butter and grain cookie when Rodney arched his eyebrows at him. 

"A lot of people are reporting with fevers to the infirmary, and we're not sure if it's just that they're overheating from the environmental system being out, or if it's something else." She paused a moment. "Dr. Zelenka is here with me, and he says that there's nothing wrong with the environmental system." 

"Hence a possible contagion." 

"Exactly." 

John tapped Rodney's arm, getting his attention, and nodded back at the hallway. They needed to get a move on if things were serious. 

Rodney stood, glad he didn't have to worry about anything other than what Elizabeth was saying. He let John lead, his hand on Rodney's elbow, guiding them to the transporter while he talked. "How about food poisoning?" 

"Food poisoning?" Elizabeth sounded puzzled. 

John cleared his throat, dropping his hand from Rodney's elbow. "We think that Tino may have used those globe peppers from last month to make his hot oil, so the contagion just might be, uhm, a side effect of the peppers." 

"They were never certified for mass consumption." 

Rodney shot a glance at John, noticing how he was sweating now, the way the hair on the back of his neck was starting to dampen. This was not good, not good at all. He tried to think of what the pathology had been the last time this happened, but he couldn't remember anything other than his own need. "We have a food shortage, Elizabeth. Obviously someone couldn't stand to see good food go to waste simply because John and I had bad dreams." 

"No one is going to go against orders like that, not with the safety of Atlantis at stake." 

"What if it was supposed to be a private stash, just for them?" John said. 

"It's possible." 

Rodney nodded. "I'm sure several people might be willing to privately experiment with something that caused, uh, hallucinations but that didn't look like it would kill you. Every botanist on staff seems to believe that if it can be grown, it can be adapted to do something useful." 

"There must have been some kind of mix-up," John said. 

"Exactly." Rodney nodded. "A perfectly normal screw-up that won't kill us." Killing John, though, that was a different matter. Rodney's mind was split, trying to run through what could be done about the pepper oil while at the same time a tiny part was reminding him of how good it felt last time, John on his knees with Rodney's cock in his mouth, looking up at him, eyes dilated, wanting. 

He wanted that again. 

"Rodney?" Elizabeth asked quietly. "What is it that you're not telling me?" 

"There's no good way to put this." Rodney rubbed his hand across his forehead. 

"Rodney—" 

"The fact is, you may have just consumed one of the most powerful aphrodisiacs in the galaxy." 

There was dead silence for a moment. "And you know that because—" 

Rodney felt himself turning a bright scarlet. "Because...they weren't exactly nightmares. More like Technicolor fantasies in exquisite detail, right down to the bruises on my thigh the next day." 

"Sounds intense." 

"Yes, it was." 

"This is so not good for my ego you know," John muttered sotto voce, off the radio, while Rodney gestured at him to be quiet. Obviously, John was already under the drug's influence. 

"It was the physical component —" A thought hit him like a tidal wave, between one word and the next. John got...friendly when he was on this stuff. Friendly with anyone, if his reaction to Rodney the last time was typical. 

"What Rodney?" 

"Yes. Well. The, uh, physical components seem to last longer than the mental ones." At least it seemed that way for him. After he'd left John that night, he'd woken twice more, fully erect each time and grinding himself into the mattress. 

And he remembered what he'd done and how he had used John. He wasn't going to let that happen again. He'd have to be more careful, careful enough for the both of them, to make sure they didn't tumble into bed again. 

Even though he really, really, really wanted to do just that. 

"I see." Another long pause. "Do you know how long we have, before the side effects kick in if we have consumed the globe peppers?" 

"Well," Rodney swallowed, hard. "It depends on how concentrated the oil is. John and I had several hours, so you might have time. How are you feeling?" 

"Warm and sweaty, but nothing else." 

"That's not a good sign." 

" Carson is already on his way. I'll ask him if see if there is any sort of antidote he can come up with quickly, based on his previous examination of the peppers. I'll have Kate join us as well, in case there's any emotional fallout from any of the narcotic effects." 

John nodded, even though Elizabeth couldn't see him. "Send Ford and Teyla to get whatever's left of the oil in general supplies. Rodney and I can grab the rest of what's here in the mess." 

"Good idea, Major. Report to the briefing room as soon as you can." 

"Understood. McKay out." Rodney closed the channel and stared glumly out the window. "We are so dead." 

* * *

Striding up the steps to the briefing room, Teyla felt the sweat running down her back. She and Ford had gone as quickly as they could to the food storage area, once Dr. Weir informed them of the urgency of the task. Tino had been reluctant to part with his secret ingredient, but Ford had managed to convince him without resorting to more than a few threats. 

Threats that Tino had apparently enjoyed, from what she read in his body language. He had been most anxious for Lieutenant Ford to stay, once he had given her the bottle. Ford had calmly extracted himself from Tino's grasp, and followed her, shaking his head. 

"Man, I had no idea the guy was so attached to his supplies. I thought we'd never get it away from him." 

"Perhaps he enjoys spicy food." 

"Maybe. Don't understand why." 

"Did you not try some of the pepper oil on your food tonight?" 

"Only a little." Ford shrugged. "Don't like Thai food either. It's just not my thing. You seemed to enjoy it though." 

"It made the food taste rich." She hesitated a moment before stepping into Dr. Weir's office. Dr. Weir appeared to be having a very intimate conversation with Dr. Zelekna. Teyla glanced back at Lieutenant Ford. "Creamy, I think you would call it." 

"You like creamy food?" Lieutenant Ford's face was flushed as he looked at her, and Teyla noticed how dark his eyes were. 

"Very much. Sweets, too." She placed the bottle of oil on Elizabeth's desk, Ford only a few steps behind her. "We only had them for festivals, and I would make them last for weeks after." She smiled at Ford, then turned to look at Dr. Weir; apparently her conversation with Dr. Zelenka was complete. "Tino says that this is the last of the bottles." 

"Good work, Teyla. Thank you." She barely glanced at the two of them before turning back to Dr. Zelenka. "Anything you could do about the heat would be greatly appreciated." 

"It is everywhere, Dr. Weir," Teyla supplied helpfully. "Lieutenant Ford and I noticed the heat on our way to the gate room." 

"Perhaps we could open the doors to the balconies...?" Ford's voice drifted off. "Can't they do that in the control room?" 

"Excellent suggestion, Lieutenant." Dr. Weir nodded appreciatively. "See what you can do, and then join us in the briefing room." Dr. Weir put her hand on Dr. Zelenka's shoulder. "Dr. Zelekna, you're next to me. Oh, and Teyla, bring the oil. Rodney said that it shouldn't be left lying around." 

* * *

"Dead. Dead. Dead. We are dead men. Dead." With every footfall from the mess to the briefing room, Rodney reminded John of just how dead they were once everyone came back to their senses. Oddly enough, John found the repetition strangely endearing, kind of like some sort of weird rap song, where the chorus was 'Dead. Dead. We are dead men.' 

"It's not our fault," John said. "We told them the oil was hallucin— Oh, God." 

Carson had on one of his short-sleeved shirts, and John could not help but look at his — hairy and nicely formed — arms. Apparently, Elizabeth and Dr. Zelenka could barely keep their hands off of each other, Zelenka's laptop forgotten on the table in front of the two of them, while Teyla was leaning back in her chair, glancing between Dr. Heightmeyer and Ford as if she couldn't quite decide what kind of entree she wanted, the fish or the steak. 

Sometimes John had that problem himself. 

"Let's get started." Elizabeth nodded, and the group settled in around the table, all of them either cautiously not-looking or failing to not-look at what the others were doing. The doors to the briefing room closed, and the lighting turned on. 

No one made a sound, except for some heavy breathing coming from Zelenka's direction; Rodney's litany of death had gone silent as well. 

Oddly enough, John missed it. When Rodney was talking, he felt like they were connected somehow, even if they didn't really look at each other. Just the voice was enough to ground him and let him know that he wasn't alone, and really, that was all John was asking for out of life. To be separate and yet sure that he wasn't alone. 

"Any thoughts?" Elizabeth asked, looking around the room. "I know this isn't exactly what we signed up for—" 

John shrugged. "I say we don't worry about it." 

"John?" Elizabeth was staring at him, as was everyone else in the room. 

"I'm military, okay? We're all very good at saying one thing and doing another. As long as no official stance is taken and we all turn a blind eye to what happens, it's not gonna matter." He turned to look at Carson. "There aren't any weird social diseases that anyone could catch, are there?" 

"No, Major. Everyone here has a clean bill of heath, and we strive to keep it that way. Plus, the SGC unofficially encourages the use of long-term contraceptive devices for all the members of its teams," his voice dropped to a near-whisper, "including the men." 

Personally, John had taken a pass on the free visit to Dr. Snip, but maybe some of the others had gone for it. 

"My people use Oloan root, should the need arise," Teyla said, her eyes solemn. 

"Really?" Carson jotted down a note. "Can you get me a sample?" 

"The wraith would burn down any stands they saw, so the supply is small. If your people could grow them in your hydroponic gardens, we would be happy to give you some starts." 

"Excellent, Teyla." Carson nodded. "I'll ask the botanists to look into it. They're very excited any time we bring in new plants." 

Rodney shot upright, looking first at John, then at Zelenka. "Dr. Gulley." 

"Yes." Zelenka nodded thoughtfully in response. "It is a good thought." 

"Hydro 7 maybe?" 

Zelenka considered a moment, his hand drifting onto Elizabeth's arm. "No. Nine." 

"That's right, with the...." Rodney mad a rolling gesture with his hand, and Zelenka sat forward in his chair, nodding excitedly. 

"Thursday," Zelenka said, pushing his glasses back up his nose. "The power cycle." 

Rodney lifted his chin. "Ah. I think. Yes. Hmm." 

John watched as the two scientists babbled at each other, their eyes flashing, hands dashing back and forth, up and down as they talked, their focus entirely on each other. He caught Elizabeth's gaze as they talked and she gave him a slight smile, which he returned. 

Really, it was kinda hot. 

Elizabeth was looking good, too. Kinda sweaty and flushed, her lips a little swollen — she had to have been kissing Zelenka, and wow, didn't that thought make him hard. Huh. Usually, she was so darn intent that John couldn't really think about her that way. He'd had female CO's before, and brother, you learned not to do or say things that would get your ass handed back to you on a platter, or even think about anything that might lead to that. He treated his relationship with Elizabeth in the same fashion, maybe a little less formal than normal, since she tended to encourage that, but still firmly in boxes separated by rank. 

Apparently, this was a day for taking things out of boxes, and man, didn't she have some nice breasts? 

Elizabeth broke in on Rodney and Zelenka's conversation. "Dr. Gulley?" 

"He just took over managing the hydroponics bays." Rodney glanced at her, leaning back in his chair. "He may have taken some samples of the peppers when they first arrived, before the trials were complete." 

"I get it," said John. "And they just happened to get added to stores, probably because they were the only things ripe in the hydroponics garden." 

"Exactly. We haven't yet figured out how to get the hydroponics bays to sustain full-growth, and so we're been sending all of the plant starts to the mainland for cultivation. The only ripe food there is experimental." Rodney shoved his chair back and stood, a contented smile gracing his face as he started pacing. "Dr. Gulley has been so secretive about it, I'm not sure those are the only hallucinogens he's been growing." 

"Tea." Radek nodded. "He drinks mushroom tea." 

"Well," said Elizabeth. "That explains how the peppers may have gotten into the food supply. Rodney, can you have someone inspect the hydroponics bays to make sure there are no other surprises?" 

"Of course, Elizabeth." 

"Good. Then if no one has any other questions, I suggest we adopt John's plan, and then anyone who needs to may leave. We don't know what exactly will happen as the toxin works its way through our systems, and there is a possibility that we could all, well, see more of each other than we ever expected. Any other thoughts? Radek?" 

Pushing his glasses into position, Radek looked around the room and gave a sharp nod. "Hmm, yes. I agree." 

Rodney stopped almost mid-step and turned to look at her. "You can't possibly—" 

John sighed, and scooted down in his chair, trying to make himself a little more comfortable. It was really hard to sprawl like he wanted when he was supposed to sit upright. "What is wrong with the plan? Everybody fucks; we don't say anything, and Heightmeyer spins it however it has to be spun so people don't freak out. That's what shrinks do, right?" He shot Heightmeyer a glance. "Help people not to freak out." 

She nodded cautiously. "I prefer to call it re-framing, but essentially, yes. The SGC gave me some briefs before we left, how to handle various situations, including intensified sexual experiences due to psychoactive alien substances." She swallowed. "The one on abrupt changes in gender was much more difficult to read." 

"See?" John tucked his hands back behind his head, his ass barely on the chair, his pants pulled tight across his groin, his erection straining against the fabric. "Everything's gonna work out." 

"I concur," Elizabeth said, folding her hands in front of her. "Carson, perhaps you and Dr. Heightmeyer can draft an email notifying people of what to expect?" She looked at Radek, who pushed his laptop over to Carson. 

"You can't be serious." Rodney sounded a little desperate, his gaze darting down to look at where John's dick was outlined in his pants, and back away again. 

"Why can't I?" John stood. There was no way he was gonna be comfortable in that chair. "I know I'm not your type, but I'm sure I'm not the only one interested in you." He walked toward the base of the table, where Carson, Kate and Ford were sitting. "So Carson, would you do Rodney?" 

Carson blushed, glanced quickly at Rodney who was looking utterly stunned, and then back to John. "I already did." 

"Really?" John shot a glance at Rodney. Idiot. Rodney could have mentioned he was seeing someone. He stepped in close and placed his hand on Carson's shoulder, but somehow it slipped down to rub along Carson's bare arm. 

Carson had really nice arms. 

"Oh, it was back when Elizabeth first formed the team." Carson turned slightly, so he could look up at John, and John noticed that Carson had really nice lips. "We had a one-night stand before we left for Antarctica." 

Huh. John glanced at Rodney, who was preternaturally silent on the matter, as if every system had immediately shutdown. Maybe he was wishing that the room's floor would swallow him up. 

But no, Rodney didn't look embarrassed so much as...distracted, maybe? Rodney was looking at something, and John realized he was looking at where John's hand lay on Carson's arm. He stroked Carson gently, and watched Rodney's eyes glaze over slightly, while Carson's breath seemed to stutter. 

Interesting. He squeezed Carson's arm and let go. "You two do anything lately?" he asked quietly. He really didn't want to cause problems, and if Rodney was with Carson, that would explain the whole nightmare thing. 

He'd also be totally pissed with himself, for putting Rodney in that position in the first place. He wouldn't blame Rodney for not talking about it — hell, John didn't talk about his sexual experiences either — but he'd just kind of assumed that if Rodney was seeing someone, that it would just burble out, like everything else did. 

Carson shivered slightly, "No. Not since we arrived in Antarctica." 

Carson's lips were right there, so John brushed them with his finger. He hadn't really thought about Carson up till now, but wow, who knew the doc was so hot. 

"Major!" Rodney was right next to him now, a hand on his shoulder, dragging him away from Carson. "I think you've already established that Carson would indeed 'do me' under the right circumstances. Which this isn't. And he shouldn't. You shouldn't. None of us should." The air seemed to go out of him as he looked at John. "It's a very bad idea." 

Maybe Rodney just had hang-ups about sex. John turned to Kate. "And you, Dr. Heightmeyer?" 

She was blushing from her scalp all the way down her neck and into her shirt. "I, uhm, don't actually like men all that much." 

Oh. "Thank you. So that's one 'yes', and one 'no'. Ford?" He held up his hand. "I already know. No tits, no interest, right?" 

"Right, sir." 

"Sorry, Rodney." John ducked his head slightly. "Your man-tits just don't count." He rounded the corner and stood behind Teyla. "Any thoughts on McKay?" 

"Gender is not as important to me as other attributes." She leaned back in her chair, seeming to take up twice her normal space, all languid movement and focused attention. 

It made something inside John ache as he watched her, and his mouth felt a little dry. "Such as?" 

She held his gaze, a small smile curving over her lips. Her serenity didn't seem so serene anymore, more like the way an electrical charge built up, and it was nearly ready to explode. "Someone who matches me strength for strength, and a willingness to see to my desires." 

John nodded. Nope, he couldn't see Rodney doing that, though...yeah. Not going there, not after the thing with Carson. He kept his voice light. "Good to know. Future reference, Teyla's a top." 

She inclined her head slightly. "I have always been this way." 

"Elizabeth?" 

Elizabeth looked up from her fascination with Radek's lips. "Hmm?" 

"Would you do Rodney?" He gestured at Rodney, who had an 'oh, god, this is all completely fucked' expression. 

She looked consideringly at Rodney, her hand idly kneading Radek's shoulder, her head propped up on her other hand. She looked back at John, then to Rodney again, and she flushed brightly. "I'd love to do you both." 

Oh god. John wasn't sure he wanted to know that. He was going to be haunted by images of sharing Elizabeth with Rodney, the three of them tangled together, slick skin against skin, touching, tasting and — 

"I would do same," Radek piped up. "You, Rodney, Elizabeth too." He took his glasses off, wiped them with his shirt, and put them back on again, looking around the room. "I think I would do everyone here. There is no one here who is not hot." Radek shrugged. "I like sex." 

"There, Radek, something we have in common." He nodded emphatically, and Radek smiled. John turned to look at Rodney, unable to keep the grin off his face. "So even though both Carson and I turned out to not be your type, you still have a chance with Radek and Elizabeth here." 

"John—" Rodney sighed heavily, running his hand across his forehead. "It's not that you're not my type. Living, breathing, smart, funny — that's my type." He waved his hand to encompass everyone in the room. "Everyone is my type." 

"Really? So-" John cleared his throat, and he spoke in a more normal range. "So have you done this sort of thing before?" 

Rodney nodded. "Summer of '91. William Gibson was the guest of honor at Westercon, so a bunch of friends and I went. There was this gamer there and she was really quite attractive. She had this big boyfriend, though and —" He shook his head. "Nevermind." 

"You got laid at a sci-fi con. Huh." John shrugged. "That's better than I ever did." 

"You should have gone to the panel on 'How to Get Laid.'" 

John hopped up onto the table, and looked at Rodney; he could hear the others moving off into their own conversations now. Carson and Heightmeyer were working on their email, though apparently, they kept losing the thread; Kate kept looking at Teyla while Carson kept glancing toward him and Rodney. Teyla and Ford were talking about who-knew-what, while Elizabeth and Radek were spending their time exploring the human form. The room was starting to smell like more than just recycled air; it smelled of sweat and arousal, with the scent of the pepper oil adding to the mix. It made it really hard to think, and John just wanted to let go and enjoy the company of his friends for the night. 

But Rodney wasn't playing, and that bothered John. For some reason, if Rodney didn't want to play, well...it wasn't going to be as much fun. In fact, though he wouldn't admit this to anyone, he wasn't sure that he wanted to play if Rodney wasn't going to stay, and it looked like he was going to bolt at any instant. So, if making sure Rodney was okay meant that he'd spend some quality time with his own right hand later, so be it. He mentally sighed and waved a cheerful goodbye to all the potential sex. "What's up?" he asked quietly. 

"Why I am so uncomfortable?" 

"What do you mean?" 

"Am Ia prude?" 

John scrunched up his face as he pretended to contemplate that. "I'm thinking not so much, what with attending sex panels at SF cons." 

Rodney looked sharply at him. "I'll have you know I am a very private individual." 

John thought about that a moment. Maybe when it came to sex, that was true. He hadn't talked about Carson after all. Maybe he didn't get turned on by any of this. He glanced over at Rodney, noticing how flushed he looked, the way his pupils were dilated and his nipples hard under his blue shirt. His gaze traveled on down his chest to his stomach, softer and rounder than John's, and his fingers itched to take off Rodney's shirt and touch him, feel the skin and wiry hair there under his hands, his lips. 

Rodney's cock was hard and well-defined in his pants. John licked his lips and thought about what it would be like to suck him. He resettled himself on the tabletop to ease the tension in his own pants, watching as Rodney shifted as well. 

Nope, apparently Rodney was as turned on as he was, so John really didn't see the problem. They both stared at each other silently, the intensity between them building, and John didn't have a clue what to do about it. 

"Excuse me, gentlemen," Carson said as he came to stand next to Rodney. "But if Rodney's not interested, Major, I am." 

"What?" Rodney looked dumbfounded. 

"I said, if you weren't interested in fucking the man, Rodney, I was. Now, would you kindly step aside so I can get his trousers open?" 

"Oh, yes, of course...." Rodney's voice drifted off as Carson knelt on the floor in front of John and put his hands on John's thighs. 

"You are okay with this, Major, aren't you?" 

"Rodney, am I?" 

"Why are you asking me?" 

"I dunno. Maybe because you're standing there freaking out." 

"I am not freaking out. And you're straight, aren't you? You are the one that's going to be freaking out tomorrow, and I'm the one who is going to have to handle it." 

"So this is a preemptive freak-out, huh? Well, that is a strategy." He shrugged. "Personally, I'd prefer you enjoyed yourself, rather than worrying about me. I'll handle my own freak out tomorrow, thanks. And yes, Carson, I would very much like you to suck my dick, since Rodney doesn't mind." 

"Thank you." Carson placed his hands on John's erection, and lowered the zipper. "It's really quite nice," he said, sliding John's cock out of his pants. "I haven't had a chance to suck a lot of cut gentlemen." 

"So, you've, umh, sucked a lot of cocks, have you?" 

Carson looked at John, his eyes twinkling. "Not in awhile, Major, no. Rodney was the last, and as I said, that was months ago." 

"Would you mind not calling me 'Major' while we're having sex? It's a little weird for me." 

"If you insist. Personally, I think it's rather nice." From the way he said 'nice,' John knew it meant 'hot.' 

Out of the corner of his eyes, John could see Teyla running her hand down Kate's neck, sliding her fingers between Kate's breasts, and under the left one, cupping it in her hand. She toyed with the nipple, watching Kate's head fall back as she gasped, and then Teyla leaned down and flicked the nipple with her tongue. 

John's mouth felt dry as he watched, and he ached to go over to the two of them, and run his hand down Teyla's back, cupping her ass. He watched them kiss some more, dark hair and light spilling around them; fuck, but that was hot. He really needed to get out of his clothing now. 

Rodney had drawn in close, watching Carson, and John was able to turn slightly, so he leaned against Rodney. "Take off my shirt, will you?" 

"Oh. Yes. Of course." Rodney's hands trembled as he reached down and pulled John's shirt over his head, and then he ran his hand over John's chest, smoothing down the hair there. 

His hands felt really good, and John pressed himself up against them, enjoying the width of his fingers and the palms of his hands, and the way Rodney stroked them over his skin, as if he had never seen skin before. It felt really cool, and John let himself go, leaning into it, lifting his hips as Carson tugged at his pants, pulling them off. He lay naked on the table, Rodney standing still clothed next to him, his hand moving lightly across John's back while Carson licked the skin on his thighs. 

He felt really damn good. 

Rodney's hand clenched his shoulder as Carson took the head of John's cock in his mouth. John arched backward, the top of his head pressing against Rodney. Damn it, but that felt really good too. Heck, if Carson was willing to put his incredibly talented mouth on John like that, John was more than willing to let Carson call him 'Major.' 

Elizabeth's voice drifted over them, breathless whispers in Czech, followed by Radek's deep, guttural response. 

He rubbed his head against Rodney's chest. "I bet this would be even better if you were naked too." 

Rodney gently rubbed his thumb across John's chin, and gave a broken, kind-of laugh. "Yes. I guess it would." 

And it was just that easy. He could hear Rodney taking off his clothing, and then he hopped up on the table as well, wrapping his arms around John's chest and pulling him in tight, so he could rest his chin on John's shoulder and watch Carson suck, his hard cock digging into John's back. "That's really hot." 

Carson looked up at him and winked. 

Rodney nipped at John's earlobe and John groaned, Rodney's hands and lips hot on his neck and face while Carson sucked him. Warm and wet and so damn good. The table rocked a bit as Carson pulled back for a moment to take off his clothing; John's small 'oh' of disappointment was swallowed as Rodney kissed him deeply and ran his hands up John's arms, his fingernails catching slightly at the hair. 

"Fuck," John said, the moment he got air. "Oh fuck." 

In the background, John could hear Ford hiss as Teyla must have rubbed some of the hot mole oil across his chest. "You must wait a moment before it starts to burn," she said, her eyes glittering. "It will feel very, very good." He watched a little more, as Teyla ran her hand over Ford's chest, around his shoulder and down his back. "Kneel, I think. This will be easier once you are on the floor." 

The floor. What a brilliant idea. Nice and stable, and John could easily reach both Carson and Rodney — and whoever else happened along. "Just a sec," he said softly, threading his hands through Carson's hair as Carson was still pulling off the rest of his clothing. "Let me get down from here." 

He grabbed Rodney's hand and scooted off the table, dragging him along, and gave a quick check of the room, just to make sure everyone was still okay. "Lieutenant Ford is compromised," he said to Rodney, watching as Teyla licked the head of Ford's cock, while Kate knelt on the floor behind her, her hands cradling Teyla's breasts, twisting the nipples between her fingers. 

"Oh, my." Carson turned to look at where John had nodded. "That looks very nice." 

"Good for him," Rodney said, not looking anywhere but at John. "You know, you don't have to prove anything to me—" 

"Shut up." John pressed his lips against Rodney's, his own lips chapped and dry from the weather on another planet, while Rodney's were soft and pliable, probably from all the lip balm he insisted on applying. It felt quite nice, John thought, but he wanted something more than just nice. 

Dirty would be really good. He ran his hand down Rodney's back to the curve of his full, rounded ass and slid his fingers between his asscheeks. Rodney gasped into his mouth, and John decided he liked that, his cock twisting in agreement. 

He pulled Rodney in tighter, and ground himself against Rodney, feeling Rodney's cock pressing in against him at the same time. He rolled his tongue, letting it drift along the roof of Rodney's mouth as he did so, shivering slightly from the way Rodney's mouth felt, all smooth wet silk. Rodney wrapped his arms around John as well, stroking his hands along John's back and gripping his ass, joining them together in a circle of want. 

Backing off a bit, not wanting too much so early in the game, John threaded his hand through the hair on Rodney's chest, where it grew the thickest, right around Rodney's nipples. Rodney jerked sharply, his mouth a small 'oh'. John leaned over and nipped at the closest one, his other hand slipping through Carson's hair as Carson joined them, turning his attention to Rodney as well. 

Rodney felt good under his hand, really, really good. A solid barrel chest and a nice amount of padding, all of him warm and reactive to John's touch. 

Out of the corner of his eye, John could see Elizabeth on the floor across from him, her naked body curved away from his, Zelenka — Radek — pressed against her. He could see the way her breast fell to the side — no implants there — and the way her dark nipples hardened. 

Catching his gaze, she arched an eyebrow at him; John smiled back. Radek cupped one of her breasts in his hand and Elizabeth arched into his touch, her eyes never leaving John's. Damn, that was hot. 

Zelenka flicked his tongue over her nipple, then sucked, and rubbed his hand over it. "You have wonderful breasts," he said, staring down at her, his eyes a darker shade than John had ever seen them be before. "So do you, Major, but you are too far away for me to taste them. Maybe we do that later?" 

Elizabeth laughed, and pulled Radek into a very dirty kiss that John's cock really enjoyed. He fisted himself as he watched, loving the way the two of them looked, the way Radek's hair fell into his face as he made love to Elizabeth, and the way that Elizabeth looked like she was finally having fun, the weight and responsibility of Atlantis driven from her mind by one apparently very intense Czech scientist. 

"John?" Rodney's voice grabbed at him and John turned back to his companions. Carson and Rodney's lips were swollen from kissing, sweat had plastered their hair against their skin, and Rodney had his hand wrapped around Carson's cock. His body was dotted with red marks where he'd been licked and sucked, and his nipples were hard from all of their love-play; he looked totally wanton and debauched. 

It was a good look on him. "Rodney, no matter what Ford said, I really like your man breasts." 

Rodney licked his lips as he looked just past John, at where Elizabeth and Radek were entwined. "Oh, my," he said, his hand stilling as he watched. "That's. Yes." 

Carson gave a dirty little laugh, and slid around Rodney. "Now you can see better," he said, wrapping himself around Rodney and sliding his hand down to Rodney's cock. His hand stoked up and down the length of Rodney's shaft, and John felt his mouth water. 

Nipping at Rodney's neck, Carson pressed himself up against Rodney's ass. He looked at John as he stoked Rodney some more. "Are you sure you want to play over there, Major? Rodney, tell the man you want him to join us." 

Rodney gasped as Carson ground into him. "Oh, God, John—" 

It was all too much. With a deep groan, John crawled over and joined them, capturing Rodney's swollen cock with his mouth, and letting it slide deep inside. 

Oh, god, yeah. That felt fucking good. He could feel the other men shifting position, and hear the soft moans, groans and sighs around him, the scent of sex now strong in the room. It all blended in and become white noise, the tiny moans and sighs indistinct from each other and the sound of skin sliding against skin. 

Aching. Needy. Greedy little wet sucking sounds coming from him as he swirled his tongue over the head of Rodney's cock. The moans he made as someone licked at his own cock. Rodney watching him intently as he sucked, his hands fisted in John's hair, fucking his mouth; the sensation of loss as Rodney stilled and pulled away, turning him. Hot slippery mole oil was pressed into him by thick fingers, deep and hard. He thought Elizabeth and Radek had joined them at some point, as he thought some of the fingers on him were too delicate for the men around him, but it really didn't matter. He was with friends and he was happy, and it was too good of a feeling not to share. 

Sensation built up, one touch moving into the other, harder, hotter and more demanding, the rhythmic slap of flesh on flesh right next to him; he heard a deep guttural moan, one that resonated deep within John's balls, the sound clearly of someone coming. On his hands and knees now, he looked over to see who it was, but quickly lost focus, gasping as he felt Rodney slide into him; so damn good. 

He wrapped his hand around his cock as Rodney thrust into him; the pressure that had been haunting him for what felt like hours triggered at last, rolling up hard from within him, making him twist and shudder as it came shooting out. He threw back his head and moaned, unable to do anything other than react, feeling Rodney still inside, moving fast and strong within him. 

He collapsed forward onto his forearms, unable to keep himself completely upright anymore, and Rodney leaned over, kissing and licking John's back as he fucked him. It felt incredible, and John pressed up against him as much as he could, wanting Rodney to understand how good this was for him, too. 

"Oh, God, John. I'm. Yes. Fucking hot. Oh. Oh. Damn...." 

John could feel it then, could feel the warmth spreading within him as he heard Rodney gasping, and felt him shaking with release. 

Rodney carefully pulled out, and then curled around John, laying his head on John's chest. The rest of the room was quieting down as well; perhaps the pepper toxin had run its course. "Wow." He said softly. "That was...amazingly nice." 

"I thought you said this stuff gave you nightmares," John said, wrapping his arms around Rodney and giving him a hug. He felt too good to do anything other than lie here for a moment, Rodney beside him. 

"Not nightmares." Rodney glanced at John's lips, gave a little shrug, and kissed him, slow and deep. "Just very vivid dreams." 

* * *

Rodney woke in what he thought were the pre-dawn hours, hearing gentle sounds from the other sleepers around them. He lay with his head on John's chest, listening to John's heartbeat as his chest rose and fell. He knew John was awake, felt his arm tighten across Rodney's chest, cocooning him in closer. The floor was hard, and John was boney, and it was cooler than he liked, what with them being naked and all, but Rodney felt too good to get up. 

"Good morning," John said, nuzzling his ear. "You okay there? I can hear you thinking." 

"You're not freaking out." 

"Nope." 

"I was certain you would, what with the sudden change in sexual orientation and all." 

"Rodney...." John sighed. "Never mind." 

There was a long pause while Rodney lay staring up at the ceiling, thinking. "So it's not just me, then." 

"Huh?" 

"It's not just me you're attracted to. It's Carson and Zelenka and—" 

"And Elizabeth, and Teyla, and pretty much anyone I like who I think may be vaguely interested, yes. What's your point?" 

"Oh. Thank God. Thank God." He rolled over onto his side and pushed himself into sitting position, so he could look down into John's face; Carson was apparently curled up on John's other side, his feet pressed up against Elizabeth's ass. Huh. That looked rather nice. He kept his voice soft, so he wouldn't wake them. "You have no idea what I imagined. I thought it was just me you were interested in, because of —" He waved his hands to indicate the room. 

"Because of...the peppers?" John's brow furrowed in concentration. 

"Yes." 

"And that bothered you. Because you thought I'd wake up in the morning and be an ass to you." 

"It's not like that. It's just...I thought there was all this pressure on me, because you were straight and we'd slept together and it had been so good—" 

John grinned. "Yeah, it was." 

"—so good that you would question your own sexuality, and want to stay with me, and the Air Force would court martial you, and it would all be my fault because I made out with you and then you'd hate me forever. And I couldn't handle it." Rodney finally took a breath. "Don't you see? No matter how good it was, the sex was never going to be worth the price." 

"And that's what you meant by nightmares?" 

"Doesn't losing our friendship count?" 

"I guess maybe it does." He stoked Rodney's hair. "I forgive you." 

"That's good to know." 

John tapped his shoulder. "Now you're supposed to kiss me." 

So Rodney did. 


End file.
